No Sense Coffee?
by SnipsSkywalker
Summary: Basically just me being crazy…if you don't like canned spray cheese this probably isn't the fanfic you're looking for.  Move along, move along...
1. Chapter 1: Spray Cheese Jelly

**Chapter one:  
>Spray Cheese Jelly.<strong>

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Yoda screamed at the top of his lungs, bursting into Anakin's and Ahsoka' apartment.  
>"GRAND THEFT THERE HAS BEEN, GRAND THEFT I TELL YOU!"<br>"G.I. Anakin can't hear you lalalalala!" Anakin sang loudly, burying his head in the couch's throw pillow.  
>"That's why dinosaurs can go golfing in the mall where there are clowns running around eating all the pretzels that the Easter bunny came and he tried to paint everything pink and Billy-Bob Joe was actually in my sink but I didn't know that so AHAHA!" Obi-Wan, who at Anakin and Ahsoka's house for some reason, informed Yoda.<br>"GAHHHHHH MY SPRAY CHEESE CAN, GOT IT THE GIANT FLEAS THEY DID! BAD BAD KITTIES!" Yoda yelled, frustrated at Obi-Wan.  
>Ahsoka was making toast with Bob the toaster. One time she threw him inside the fire and he didn't die so he is an immortal toaster. She was going to put jelly everywhere but there was only enough to put on Bob's toast.<br>"Snips, were you looking for jelly? I have jelly!" Anakin offered. He pulled a can of spray cheese out of the fridge.  
>"MINE THAT IS! FLEA I DID NOT KNOW YOU WERE, SKYWALKER!" Yoda shouted. He grabbed the can of EZ-cheese and began whacking Anakin's head with his gimer staff.<br>"OW OW OW!" Anakin shrieked.  
>"I prefer whipped cream myself." Obi-Wan said calmly, as Yoda tackled Anakin. He found a tea table and sliced it in half with his chainsaw. "And that's the weather!" He concluded. Darth Vader walked in dramatically.<br>"-HOLBER HOLBER- No Luke, _I_ am the weather!" he disappeared, and Obi-Wan sliced all the cake with his chainsaw. Meanwhile, all of Ahsoka's toast was done and she wanted the "jelly".  
>"Hey masters, that's mine! I wanted use it first!" She complained. "I need it for toast!"<br>"MINE IT IS! IN ALL CAPS I MUST TALK! SKYWALKER, GO STICK HIS HEAD IN A LAKE HE SHOULD!" Yoda yelled.  
>"Dun dun dun G.I. Anakin will help everyone!" Anakin snatched the canned Spray Cheese and sprayed it in his mouth.<br>"I need that!" Ahsoka yelled. She snatched it from Anakin and started spraying it on the toast.  
>"FOR NO APPARENT REASON BANNANA JOE WILL APPEAR OUT OF NO WHERE WITH A FLY SWATTER!" Obi-Wan yelled, snatching the spray cheese and spraying it out onto the floor.<br>"You are _wasteful, _Obi-Wan! All that beautiful spray cheese on the floor…"  
>"Lalalala! I love to be wasteful!" Obi-Wan sang happily, spraying some spray cheese on the coffee table.<br>"BATTER, UP HE IS!" Yoda screamed. He swung a bat at the spray cheese in Obi-Wan's hand and the can went flying out the window, shattering it to pieces. All four Jedi stared glumly at the broken window.  
>"That was some good jelly." Anakin said sadly.<br>"It was the best jelly I ever saw." Ahsoka agreed.  
>"It was all banana Joe's fault!" Obi-Wan cried.<br>"WELL STUPID THAT SPRAY CHEESE WAS! NOT LIKE IT I DID!" Yoda screamed, whacking the window with his gimer staff, which caused it to shatter more.  
>"We should get some sense coffee." Anakin mused. But they still didn't have any sense coffee. Too bad for them.<br>Then Admiral Ackbar appeared and yelled "IT'S A TRAP!" It was a trap. Yup.  
>THE AWESOME END OF CHAPTER ONE!<p>

Ok, what does everyone think? Hehe XD


	2. Chapter 2: Council Chamber Fun!

"Skywalker, what do you have to report?" Mace Windu asked, glaring at Anakin and his apprentice as they stood before the council. He wasn't mad or anything, he just liked to glare at people.  
>"SOME JERK SLOBBERED ALL OVER MY DOORKNOB, THAT'S WHAT!" Anakin shouted furiously. Ahsoka rolled her eyes.<br>"Who would do such a terrible thing?" Obi-Wan asked, stroking his beard thoughtfully.  
>"MUTANT COWS, DO IT THEY WOULD!" Yoda shouted, leaping out of his chair in excitement. "MAKE A POSSUM WE MUST!" Obi-Wan rolled off his chair and played dead.<br>"Kenobi, what the force do you think you're doing?" Shakk Ti asked, puzzled. Obi-Wan stuck his tongue out and didn't say anything. Then all of a sudden, a McDonalds guy danced in.  
>"HASH BROWNS HASH BROWNS GET YOUR HASH BROWNS FOR ONLY TEN MILLION DOLLARS!" A bunch of guys in chicken outfits followed him.<br>"Whhhaaattt?" Ahsoka said, confused.  
>"OoOoOh, possum they must be!" Yoda screeched excitedly.<br>"No, we're protesting!" The McDonalds guy said, sounding offended.  
>"PROTEST <em><span>YOU<span>_, I WILL!" Yoda screamed, whacking the guy on the head with his staff.  
>"Don't you all worry! G.I. Anakin will get this scum out of here!" Anakin said bravely, shoving all the guys in chicken outfits and the McDonalds dude out the door. Finally there was peace and quiet. Then there wasn't, because Asajj Ventress flew in from somewhere outside and slammed into the large council room window and stuck there.<br>"HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?" Anakin yelled at the Sith apprentice. "Don't you know that this is private property?" Asajj did not fall off the window. Mace glared at her. Asajj glared back.  
>"WHAT, A PIGEON DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?" Yoda screamed angrily.<br>"I am your worst nightmare." She mouthed, then slid slowly down the window. Ahsoka made the kooku sign.  
>Then, a bird slammed into the window and slid down. Then a badger. Then some spray cheese jelly. Then a green yard sign. Then some Windex.<br>"You have _got_ to be kidding me." Mace grumbled.  
>"C'mon Snips! Let's go clean it!" Anakin said happily. He opened the window and stuck his head out, then, deciding it was safe, climbed onto the short ledge.<br>"Nuh-uh, not happening." Ahsoka said stubbornly.  
>"Oh come on, don't be such a downer! Dangerous things are fun!" Anakin shouted.<br>"I beg to differ." Obi-Wan the possum said.  
>"AHHHH THERE'S A DEAD ANIMAL IN HERE! SOMEONE CALL ANIMAL CONTROL!" Ahsoka screamed at the top of her lungs. Plo Koon pulled a megaphone out from behind his council chair and began repeatedly screaming "ANIMAL CONTROL!" at the top of his lungs. Animal control did not appear, and Obi-Wan, who was starting to get bored of being a possum, decided to build a house out of toothpicks and glue.<br>"HEY LOOK, IT'S GLUE! IT'S GLUE IT'S GLUE IT'S GLUE! OH THANK THE FORCE, THE GLUE HAS RETURNED!" Ki-Adi Mundi screamed.  
>"LOOK! LOOK LOOK LOOK! I'M ON THE WINDOW AND I FOUND SENSE COFFEE!" Anakin yelled. The mug of sense coffee was floating a couple of feet away from him. "Can't…reach…sense coffee!" He shouted, straining to reach the mug. But he couldn't reach it, so he made a sad face and climbed back inside and fell in a trap.<br>"Oh, that's what Admiral Ackbar was referring to yesterday!" Obi-Wan exclaimed. And that's the trap!

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	3. Chapter 3: Coffee Shop Equals GI Hyper

Chapter 3: Coffee shop=Mr. G.I. Hyper, but still no sense coffee.

And thank you all so much for the reviews! :D

Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano walked into a Starbucks.  
>"Coffee… COFFEE!" Anakin said excitedly, jumping up and down.<br>"Master, remember the code." Ahsoka said, eyeing her master suspiciously as he drooled at the menu.  
>"A Jedi does not walk into a coffee shop and order anything with Caffeine in it. A Jedi does not order anything with a large amount of sugar in it. A Jedi orders steamed milk or a Decaffeinated Chai tea or hot chocolate or Sense Coffee. A Jedi does not, under any circumstances, order an Espresso." Ahsoka recited, sounding bored out of her mind.<br>"Yeah yeah, sure Snips, I was gonna order sense coffee, relax!" Anakin assured her. The Jedi knight and his Padawan stepped up to the counter.  
>"HI! I want sense coffee!" Anakin told the Starbucks guy.<br>"Sorry sir, we're all out of sense coffee." The guy told them.  
>"Then we'll both have hot chocolate." Ahsoka said hurriedly.<br>"I'LL HAVE AN EXPRESSO!" Anakin said happily, before Ahsoka could object.  
>"Bad idea master." Ahsoka mumbled, as the guy went back to prepare their drinks.<br>"Oh c'mon Snips, it's just an espresso." Anakin said nonchalantly. A couple minutes later, their drinks were ready and they sat down at a table.  
>"OK master, take it slowwwwww." Ahsoka said. But Anakin had already rapidly drank the whole thing.<br>"See Snips? That wasn't so bad!" He exclaimed. Then his face went blank for a second. Then he leaped 2 feet out of his chair.  
>"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MISTER G.I. HYPER ESPRESSO!" He screamed. "MOOOO MOOOO COWS SAY MOO YEAHH AND THAT'S WHY I SMUSHED ALL THE CHEESECAKE INTO PADMES BLU-RAY! I DRANK THAT THING OF ESPRESSO! AHHHHHHHHHH! AGAFA! CLOCK! THEN I NEED A MUFFIN!" Ahsoka facepalmed.<br>"Great. Just great."  
>Anakin was now zooming around the coffee shop, getting up in random people's faces.<br>"HAHAHAHAHA DON'T YOU FIND THIS ANNOYING?" He yelled at some random dude. The guy swatted him with his newspaper, and Anakin ran away giggling.  
>"HEHEHE MACE FACE MACE FACE THAT RHYMES!" He screamed, thrilled.<br>"Here's a funny story master." Ahsoka said flatly. "Once upon a time, you STOPPPED DISOBEYING THE CODE AND JUST DID WHAT THE COUNCIL TOLD YOU TO!"  
>"HERE'S ANOTHER FUNNY STORY!" Anakin screamed hysterically. "CALMING CHALK! " He grabbed some chalk and smushed it to dust. "NOW I AM CALM! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" He started running around in circles and was not in the least bit calm. He ran over to some random person's laptop and pounded it to death. Then he grabbed everyone's chairs and made a tower with them on top of a table and knocked it down, then stole someone's lipstick and colored all over the walls with it and grabbed some whipped cream and sprayed it all over his head, laughing like a lunatic the whole time. Then he collapsed on the floor. Ahsoka raised an eyebrow, but wisely didn't say anything.<br>"Snips, I'm not feeling well." He moaned. The coffee shop was in shambles, and all of the customers had somehow acquired torches and pitchforks and were glaring at Anakin.  
>"Yup. That's why Jedi don't drink espressos." Ahsoka decided. <p>


	4. Chapter 4: Evilness With Blocks of Wood

I DO NOT OWN STAR WARS, I DO NOT OWN SPRAY CHEESE, I DO NOT OWN STICKS, AND I DO NOT OWN BLOCKS OF WOOD!

Disclaimers are so much fun! XD

Chapter 4: Evilness with blocks of wood!

"Hmm, what evilness should we do today, my apprentice?" Darth Sidious asked Asajj Ventress and Count Dooku.  
>"WE SHOULD RUN AROUND AND GIVE OUT FREE PIE!" Dooku yelled enthusiastically.<br>"That." Asajj said slowly "Is not very evil."  
>"It's no use!" We never do anything evil!" Darth Sidious yelled, feeling defeated.<br>"Yeah. Let's just whack ourselves with blocks of wood and get it done with." Asajj suggested unhappily. So they all whacked themselves with blocks of wood, and that was that.

Meanwhile, at the Jedi Temple…  
>They were all at Anakin's apartment: Obi-Wan was having a conversation with Darth Maul's ghost and Anakin and Ahsoka were baking cookies.<br>"I gutted you! Let's be great friends!" Obi-Wan tried to convince the shimmering ghost, who did not look enthusiastic.  
>"And then… you add some mustard!" Anakin yelled, pouring a bunch of mustard into the large kitchen bowl. "Then you stir until it turns into crème brulee!" he yelled. Ahsoka, who was actually looking at the recipe, shook her head.<br>"Actually, you don't add mustard. You add vanilla." She corrected, adding a teaspoon of vanilla.  
>"Then you dance around like a chicken!" Anakin suggested, dancing around the bowl in ecstasy.<br>"No, you don't!" She shouted, somewhat exasperated.  
>"Please oh please oh please be my best friend in the entire galaxy!" Obi-Wan begged Darth Maul, blowing a party horn happily.<br>"I don't want to." Darth Maul said grumpily. Obi-Wan burst into tears.  
>"But… but… but... WHO WILL PLAY STICKS WITH ME?" he wailed.<br>"I will!" Anakin volunteered, throwing his hands in the air and knocking over the cookie bowl onto the floor and spilling its contents onto the floor.  
>"Oops. I WILL PLAY STICKS WITH YOU OBI-WAN!" Anakin screamed. Darth Maul happily disappeared and Ahsoka rolled her eyes.<br>"That was an epic fail." She grabbed a can of spray cheese from the cabinet and sprayed it in her mouth. Anakin and Obi-Wan got out their sticks and started quietly playing with them. That was when the Sith appeared, and knocked everyone out with blocks of wood.  
>"HAHAHAHAHAHA that was so evil!" Darth Sidious yelled. Then they left, extremely satisfied with themselves. A few minutes later, Kit and Aayla barged in to sell our heroes some Girl Scout cookies. Unfortunately, no-one was conscious.<br>"UGH, everyone leaves their stupid dead animals everywhere!" Aayla yelled, annoyed. "What is the jedi order coming to?" Kit grinned happily.  
>"We're all coming to our senses!" he exclaimed, dancing around and blowing a harmonica he found on the couch.<br>"Some sense coffee might do us all some good." Aayla remarked.  
>"MY HARMONICA!" Anakin screamed at the top of his lungs, abruptly sitting up.<br>"HIS HARMONICA!" Obi-Wan screamed at the top of his lungs, also suddenly sitting up. Ahsoka, who appeared to be actually unconscious, did not do anything. Anakin poked her in the eye with his stick.  
>"You are not being courteous to the other members of the party, my Padawan." He explained to her unhappily, when she did not wake up.<br>"We could always jump on her!" Obi-Wan suggested. Aayla thought throwing ice cream on her face might work better, and did exactly that.  
>"That is when you have to run over her with a golf cart." Obi-Wan informed them.<br>"GOLF!" Kit yelled. He grabbed a golf club and swung it all over the place, shattering some vases and the window.  
>"Snips is not going to be a happy camper when she wakes up." Anakin told Kit, suddenly having an idea. So Obi-Wan, Kit, Aayla and Anakin set up a tent with some sheets and found some matches and lit the rug into a bonfire and roasted marshmallows and the couch and entire living room.<br>When Ahsoka woke up, she wasn't a happy camper, but the rest of them were ;)

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	5. Chapter 5: WHO IS CALMEST!

**Yessss...I wrote a new chapter of this weird thing because I'm bored to death! So enjoy :P  
><strong>  
>Chapter 5: WHO IS THE CALMEST?<p>

It was a normal day at the Jedi temple. Ahsoka was running through the hallway chasing Anakin, who was high on espressos and holding a rubber chicken in the air. waving it around and laughing like a maniac, Obi-Wan was doing arts and crafts, Yoda was mercilessly whacking plants with his favorite weed-whacker, Mace was trying to clean his bathroom, and everyone was doing their usual weird stuff. And they were all bored of it.  
>"BORED, I AM!" Yoda screamed at his plant.<br>Suddenly, a teen girl with brown hair wearing a Sith cape over her HU tee poofed out of no-where.  
>"If you're bored, do something." she said irritably.<br>"Who, you are?" Yoda screamed rudely.  
>"The Controller of the Galaxy, that's what." She replied smugly.<br>"No, right, that cannot be," Yoda said, shaking his head. "ME, that is."  
>"No, you're not, I am! And I'm bored!" She complained.<br>"If THIS, what doing with your time, you are, desperate, you must be." Yoda muttered under his breath.  
>"Ha ha. Very funny." She snapped her fingers and Yoda was suddenly dressed like a cat. Then she started laughing hysterically, and ran away in search of spray cheese.<br>"Huh, cat I am." Yoda mused, unfazed. He was going to get back to whacking his potted plant with his weed whacker, when Anakin ran through the hallway with his rubber chicken, chased by Ahsoka in a corn costume. "Padawan, why wearing a corn costume you are?" Yoda asked grumpily.  
>"Why are YOU wearing a cat costume?" Ahsoka replied in the same tone.<br>"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA THEY TOTALLY LOOK LIKE HOBOS!"  
>Anakin said to his rubber chicken.<br>"You totally look like a lunatic, because you're talking to a rubber chicken." Ahsoka muttered.  
>"Who else, bored they are?" Yoda asked "Because bored, I am!"<br>"I'm not bored, I'm exasperated because I am, for some reason, wearing a corn costume, and Anakin is driving me insane with his chicken!" Ahsoka said exhaustedly.  
>"Yeah, well why are you wearing that?" Anakin asked.<br>"I don't know!" She wailed.  
>"WELL A CAT, I AM, SO BOW BEFORE ME, YOU MUST!" Yoda shrieked.<br>"Hmm, no, I don't think so." Ahsoka said. Anakin sniggered at Yoda.  
>"A corn has challenged your rule!"<br>"I am not a corn! Do I look like a corn to you, master?" Ahsoka shouted.  
>"Yes." Anakin answered truthfully.<br>"Well that's just because I'm in a corn costume!" She snapped.  
>"DEBATE ABOUT THIS, WE WILL NOT! CAT I AM, AND CALM I AM, AND FINAL THAT IS!" Yoda screamed at the top of his lungs.<br>"NO, I'M CALMER!" Ahsoka screamed hysterically.  
>"NO NO NO I AM CALMER!" Anakin screamed even more hysterically. He started running in zig-zags to prove that he was most calm.<br>"NO NOT CALM YOU ARE, HYPER YOU ARE, HEAD, STUPIDS! ON ESPRESSO AND WEARING CORN, YOU ARE! NOT CALM ARE YOU! CALM I AM, AND A KITTY I AM, AND FINAL THAT IS, SO UP SHUT WITH LOUD NOISES YOU WILL!" Yoda screamed, not exactly quiet himself.  
>"Fine." Anakin mumbled.<br>"Fine." Ahsoka mumbled.  
>Because you didn't argue with the Controller of the Galaxy.<br>So Yoda was a kitty. And he was calm. And that was final.


	6. Chapter 6: Batman or not?

**Sooo… My friend Pergjithshme Spork wanted me to update this. So I did. Finally. xD **

**Pergjithshme is Pergjithshme. Shanna Willa is Inksaber. Banana Joe is me, and she is not a boy. (Joe is short for Joelle.) **

Anakin was aimlessly wandering the Jedi Temple being bored. Ahsoka had banned him from their apartment on account of the fact that he had accidentally put his lightsaber in the microwave, just to see what it would do. Ahsoka didn't like what it did… even if he thought it was fascinating. She'd told him to give her a break and have a walk, and he obliged, not having anything great to do there anyways.

Suddenly, he walked into an ice cream stand.

"ZOMG! AN ICE CREAM STAND JUST LIKE I ALWAYS DREAMED OF!" he screamed in ecstasy, throwing his shoes off and jumping up and down and all around in circles in his socks.

"I'm not an ice cream stand stupid, I'm a man dressed as a broccoli!" the man shouted over Anakin's excited squeals, facepalming exasperatedly.

"It's true. He's not an ice cream stand," some person named Pergjithshme popped up and said.

"WHOA. YOU LIKE, SHOCKED THE BREATH OUT OF ME," Anakin shouted, inhaling and exhaling sharply. He tried to Heimlich himself with no success.

Then Ahsoka popped up and went "ANAKIN, CHECK FOR YOUR PULSE!"(Love ya, Bluey! ;)

Then she went back to her vacation. And Anakin remembered how to breathe, and it was all just fine.

"How do you know he's not an ice cream stand?" Anakin asked skeptically.

"I'm batman," Pergjithshme explained

"Pergjithshme, you can't be BatMAN. You don't meet qualifications," her friend Banana Joe tried to explain to her.

"Where do you keep COMING FROM!?" Anakin shouted frantically.

Yoda popped up. "Come from the drain we do," he explained, then disappeared again. Anakin made a face.

"Yes I can be batman," Pergjithshme insisted "It says it on the side of the mask I tried on at Target. And then I took it home, and I believe that is shoplifting."

"Well I say you can't be Batman if you are a girl," Banana Joe humphed. "Hence BatMAN."

"Is that a flying kitty?!" Pergjithshme shouted hysterically, trying to distract Banana Joe.

"That's Shanna Willa, Pergjithshme," Banana Joe said, rolling her eyes. Their friend Shanna Willa Arrun, or SWA was just kind of standing there. They weren't sure what she was doing.

"I still don't buy it." Banana Joe continued, unfazed. "I see no cape; nor a spotlight."

"You can't see the cape or spotlight because of it is daytime, dummy. I'm not batman in the daytime."

"I'm not a dummy, I am tired. Tis a difference lady. Cape and spotlight or no, the mask is in plastic packaging. Your argument against mine of you not being Batman, is now invalid." Banana Joe said.

"That's my batpackaging," Pergjithshme explained, somewhat annoyed.

"I've already got a monkey. You can't possibly top that," Banana Joe said, her argument is slowly down the drain.

"Yes I can. I have a unicorn." Pergjithshme said stubbornly.

"I've got a flying giraffe." Banana Joe said, crossing her arms.

"I have a buffalo, and it can become invisible." Pergjithshme said, crossing her arms also

"My monkey can transform into a semi like Optimus Prime." Banana Joe countered.

"Shut UP, monkeys do not do that!" Pergjithshme shouted

"And no buffalo can become invisible, either."

"Yes they can, I saw it." Pergjithshme said.

"It's _invisible_," Banana Joe pointed out. "And if you don't want to agree with me, I'm going to take my monkey and go. We'll travel the countryside, and form a fancy band."

At this point, Banana Joe's boyfriend Peach Billy rushed in and told her that is wasn't nice to plagiarize. Then he hugged her and went to play Space Marine.

Shanna Willa and Anakin and a unicorn exchanged puzzled glances. People just kind of kept appearing, and it was creeping them out. Well, it was creeping Shanna Willa out. Anakin was just thinking about corn on the cob.

Next, Admiral Ackbar appeared and shouted "IT'S A TRAP!" (A. N. Admiral Ackbar is my most favorite. :P)

And they all fell into a trap and there was jello in there. And Banana Joe's assistant Orange Ricky had to get them out.

The end.

**I did plagiarize some of this. xD The batman conversation was an adaptation of a conversation between me, and le Peach Billy. Banana Joe's lines were not mine… even though I'm Banana Joe. (Banana Joe is my code name. Short for Banana Joelle, remember?) I said the Pergjithshme stuff, and Banana's lines are what Peach Billy was saying. You know what, it's a bit confusing... Nevermind.-.**

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